⁉️Debugging Emotional Distress
Based on the presentation "Emotional Distress: a Mindset to Start Resolving It" at Zühlke Day 25.04.24
Tldr; The base idea is to treat emotional distress like bugs in software. By debugging it you can find out what's the actual root cause and often times it's not what we may think first. It also somewhat relieves the emotional distress to know the root cause. It also helps to rewrite the past event in the mind into something more positive - mainly by viewing the person causing it in a positive light.
Step 0: Trigger
Something triggers emotional distress in you (sadness, anger, hate, ..)
Step 1: Looking in the right place - debugging it
Base response: Who is responsible / who is at fault -> leads to: notion that emotional distress is caused by someone else. Loss of power.
Alternate Strategy: How to break out of the cycle?
Separate things (also in time)
Address source later (if still needed)
Focus on your emotional reaction / look at yourself
Power to change
Trick: thankfulness -> cool I can change something
Step 2: Is my emotional reaction appropriate?
Identification: Ask yourself: Should I be this angry (..)?
Emotional distress is a sign of a bug
Base response: Reactions are real and therefore feel justified, but actually it may still be a bug
Communication: How do we connect our emotions to words?
If in doubt: Assume there is a bug that causing the emotional distress.
Step 3: Identifying the bug:
Understand the situation
Reflect it back to yourself
Things (good or bad) we recognise in other people / situations, are often aspects of ourselves that need attention
How does it feel to inverse the position?
E.g. formulate the most concise & sharp response and say it to yourself.
Observe your reaction
Is there on?
Identifying the bug often feels relaxing / easing the distress
Step 4: Changing the software / fixing the bug
Established access to underlying emotion
Dive into emotions and let images come up
Not necessarily represents a past reality
Important that they feel connected to your emotion
Change the content of the image to something positive / e.g. open the IDE to your software
Make it so that other involved persons in the image are in their best form as well
Don't remove them. It is generally better to change their circumstances, so that they act according to your needs
"Love trumps hate/anger"
This rewrites your software
No need to change your actual past (or conflict partners)
Rewrite the software that was written with a fictitious, more beneficial past
New capabilities
Read the situation better, more empathy
Freeing resources
Become more stable
Societal
Defuse, improve, resolve recurring fights
Reduce strife and conflict
Empathy for other positions
Side notes from presentation
Fighting e.g. in a partnership happens when both sides are triggered
Further resources
Integrative Body Psychotherapy (IBP)
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Trauma therapeutic approaches
Somatic Experiencing
Focusing
Imagery Rescripting
Ego State Integration
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